这个博客坦率地说，是两个男人之间的故事，以及他们荒谬的冒险，

　　Ladies and gentlemen,女士们先生们，Pray charge your glasses and be upstanding. Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson.

　　倒满你们的酒杯，站起来。今天就要开始玛丽伊丽莎白华生和约翰哈米什华生共同的冒险。

　　The thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins, just the two of us against the rest of the world.

　　追寻罪犯的快感令人血脉喷张，我们两人对阵整个世界。

　　I won&39;t insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.

　　我就不给你解释了，省得说我欺侮你智商。

　　John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.

　　约翰，我是个荒谬的人，却被你的热情和对情谊的忠贞挽救了。

　　The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege.

　　你的过去我不愿过问，那是你的事情;你的未来我希望参与，这是我的荣幸。

　　To the very best of times, John.

　　致那些最好的时光，约翰。

　　Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, and...um, others:

　　女士们先生们，家人们朋友们，还有其他人：

　　John Watson. My friend John Watson. John... When John first broached the subject of being Best Man, I was confused.

　　约翰华生，我的朋友，约翰华生。约翰约翰提出让我做伴郎的时候，我很困惑。

　　I confess at first I didnt realize he was asking me, when finally I understood I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it.

　　我承认刚开始，我没有意识到他是在请我做伴郎，后来当我明白了。我向他表示我很荣幸也很惊喜。但是我承诺会竭尽全力完成任务。这项任务对我来说比之前碰到的更具挑战更艰难。另外，非常感谢他对我的信任。在某种程度上，我几乎被感动了。

　　Im afraid John, I cant congratulate you. All emotions and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatchbeetle that is the doom of our society and in time one feels certain our entire species. But anyway, lets talk about John.

　　恐怕我不能恭喜你，约翰。所有的情感，尤其是爱，与纯粹冷静的理智相违反。而我认为这种理智高于一切。在我的信念中，婚礼简直就是为了庆祝这个病态的道德败坏的世界中一切虚伪、华而不实、荒谬、感伤的东西。今天我们是在庆祝宣告死亡的蛀虫，它注定了我们社会的消亡。也注定了整个人类的灭亡。但是，我们还是谈谈约翰吧。

　　If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own, that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in turn, From the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel, and contrast is, after all, Gods own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.

　　假如我在旅途中增加一个负担找个帮手，这个不会是出于情感需要或是心血来潮。而是由于他本身的一些美好品质。只不过由于迷恋我而忽视了。的确，大家都知道我精神敏锐。事实上，这不过是和约翰对比出来的，约翰无私地提供了如此强烈的对比。我相信，事实上，新娘总是愿意选择姿色平庸的伴娘，我觉得这也是一种对比。但是，究竟对比是上帝展现他的创造之美的一种手段。或者上帝并不是可笑的幻想。为结婚的傻瓜们提供了职业机会。

　　The point Im trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all round obnoxious asshole that anyone could possibly have misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didnt understand I was being asked to be Best Man. It is because I never expected to be anybodys best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.

　　我想说的是，我是最讨厌、最粗鲁、最无知的人、彻头彻尾的讨厌鬼，任何人碰到我都是一种不幸。我轻蔑美德、无视美、不了解幸福。所以假如我不明白为什么找我做伴郎，那是因为我从没想过我会是任何人的好朋友。当然没想过会是我有幸熟悉的最勇敢、最仁慈、最智慧的人的好朋友。

　　John, I am ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But as I am apparently your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can.

　　约翰，我是个荒谬的人。但是被你的热情和对情谊的忠贞挽救了。尽管我是你的好朋友，我还是不能祝贺你的婚姻。但是，现在我要祝贺你。

　　John, you have endured war and injury and tragic loss, so sorry again about that last one, so know this-today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short, the two people who love you most in all this world, and I know I speak for Mary as well when I say, we will never let you down. And we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.

　　约翰，你经历过战役、受过伤、有过悲惨的损失。我再次对你遭受的损失表示遗憾。要知道今天你坐在你的妻子和你挽救过的人中间，简言之就是世上你最爱的两个人。我知道玛丽也是这么想的：我们永远不会让你失望。我们会用一生的时间来证实。

　　Now onto some funny stories about John. So for funny stories on has to look no further than Johns blog. The record of our time together. Of course, he does tend to romanticize things a lot, but then you know hes a romantic. Weve tackled some strange cases, The Hollow Client, The Poison Giant Weve had some frustrating cases. Touching cases. And of course I have to mention the elephant in the room. But we want something very particular for this special day, dont we? The Bloody Guardsman.....

　　现在说说约翰的趣事。想知道趣事，只需要看看约翰的博客。记录了我们在一起的时光。当然，他喜欢写的浪漫一点。但是，你们知道的他可是个浪漫的人。我们侦破了许多奇案。空屋委托人，毒巨人。也有一些令人沮丧的案子。还有令人感动的案子。当然我的说说一些不容忽视的案子。在这个特别的日子里我们想听特别的，不是吗?血溅卫兵案

　　I probably should have told you about the elephant in the room. However, it dose help to further illustrate how invaluable John is to me.

　　我似乎偏离主题了。我应该接着说说，约翰对我是多么地重要。

　　I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. I used to think thats what made me special, quite frankly I still do. But a word to the wise, should any of you require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder, but it takes John Watson to save your life. Trust me on that I should know, hes saved mine so many times and in so many ways.

　　我能理解犯罪现场,而他能理解人的心灵。过去我经常认为这是我的特殊之处，坦率的说，我现在也这样认为。明白人用不着多说，假如你们需要我们的帮助。我能破案，而约翰却能挽救生命。相信我，我知道他以各种方法多次救过我。

　　I have never made a vow in my life, and after tonight I never will again. So, here in front of you all, my first and last vow. Mary and John, whatever it takes, whatever happens, from now on, I swear I will always be there, always, for all three of you.

　　我一生中从没给过誓言，今晚之后我也不会。此刻面对着大家，我第一个也是最后一个誓言。玛丽，约翰，不论代价，不论会发生什么，从今以后，我发誓永远陪伴着你们，永远陪伴你们三个人。

　　Marriage changes you as a person in ways that you can&39;t imagine.

　　婚姻会用一种你想象不到的方式改变你。

　　You are married, and then you just let your old friends slip away.

　　你结婚了，老朋友们就会慢慢溜走。

　　The one person he thought didn&39;t matter at all to me was the one person that mattered the most.

　　在他眼中那个对我来说最无足轻重的人，其实是对我最重要的人。

来源：土味情话

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